19:56pm
Boa-We
I find myself asking what the meaning to life is again, I dont know about my life or what I will do with it in the future...
I find myself asking myself why life is so important, yeah you only have one life to live, but really what do you do with it, when you don't know what to do with it?

I hate myself for not deciding like others, I hate myself for not knowing, for being so naive, ignorant, and just plain old selfish. I'm still that one girl who is afraid to try new things and just to risk it.

Maybe I'm afraid of the outcome, I really don't know. I hate this feeling within me, it feels like I can't change it, and it feels like I don't belong. I wish I knew what i wanted.¬MySz BayBeEh R

Tyme:3:09pm
Date:5/7/06
-sigh- finished taking the SAT 1 yesterday morning, it was so tiring and exhausting!I am so stressing over school because I am so striving to keep up my grades, but I feel that it's useless now because I don't think I will get a 4.0 I am extremely sad about that. I just wish I could have worked harder, but now, it wont happen ='[

On the otherhand, love's been a bitch...seriously though, why is this all happening now? I feel like this isn't right anymore because he doesn't want any of this to continue -_- and I guess I'll respect what he wants, I don't think that I want anything in life anymore It feels like I just exist, but I'm doing nothing to make myself happy, and it seems nothing makes me happy anymore, I feel like I've given up, but not fully yet because I'm still holding onto something precious to me, yet he doesn't care anymore, so why should I care? I don't know, maybe I shouldn't. I don't want anything anymore
I just want to be left alone.

EDIT

me: ...
me: ay...
him: yeah
him: yyeah rt?
me: do u really want to bu?
him: you know you dont defend me infonrt of your family
him: ima go ok
him: im doing something
me: ok
he signed off at 06:58:00.

It seems to me he really wants to break up, so I won't bother him anymore...

Alone in solitude
By: Baybeeh R

Verse 1
Waking up, screaming and shouting,
Can’t get out, making a fuss with all the pouting.
Trapped behind the walls of solitude.
No one to help, no one to help this one right here.
Days have gone by like a breeze,
But there was no one to share it with me.

Chorus:
I’ve given love and I’ve given sympathy,
But I never asked for any in return
Alone in solitude (Repeat 2x’s)

Verse 2
That young boy once needed me.
Shouted and cried to get to me.
I gave him all that I had,
But still he wanted more than me.
He soon forgot me,
Who I was to him, I wonder.
He chose to take the path to plunder.
He changed, and left me behind
Always wanted more than me, I wish I can just rewind.

Chorus

Verse 3
My mother and father always let me be,
Never once did I feel that they cared for me.
My brothers and friends told me,
We’re all here for you if you need me.
But really, who was there for me?
I felt no warmth, and I took the wrong path,
Now I know what I have lost.
I couldn’t change the last part,
Because I never thought I was really that smart.

Chorus

Verse 4
What is your wish? What is mine?
I don’t even know what a wish is…
I think I wish but am I confusing it with dream?
What is it when I wish someone was here with me?
What is a wish? I’d like to know…
But I guess I don’t need it anymore
Because wishes are not always fulfilled so I guess
I’ll stop these wishes flowing through to me
I’ve been locked in this room far too long.
I think I’m bewildered with me.

Chorus: (Repeat 2x’s and fade out)